Generative Attention: The Art of Deep Listening in the Classroom
Perhaps one of the greatest needs human beings have is to be deeply heard. The experience of being able to talk until saying all you hold in heart and mind is one of the most enlivening experiences anyone can have on this earth. Unfortunately, it is also quite rare. As Fran Leibowitz famously quipped, “The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.”
I was reminded of this while reading Nancy Kline’s Time to Think in which she explores what makes for an ideal “thinking environment.” It struck me that this is one of the most important questions in all of education—what physical, psychological, and emotional “space” is most conducive to helping another human being think effectively? And yet we rarely speak in specifics about what this can and should be, especially for adult learners.
In fact, as organizations and institutions, we often pursue practices and routines that are counter-productive to good thinking. For example, protocols that reinforce cognitive biases like “group-think” (brainstorming session, anyone?) Kline’s thesis is that attention is generative. By providing uninterrupted time to someone–with an occasional incisive question–we help them come up with better ideas. Simple in theory, difficult in practice. Though silence signals the other person is thinking, we yearn to fill that space. Sometimes desperately.
But our ability to push through the awkwardness, our willingness to wait and listen, is actually the most profound thing we can do to help someone think better. She states, “Giving good attention to people makes them more intelligent. Poor attention makes them stumble over their words and seem stupid. Your attention, your listening is that important.” She recommends that we conduct our meetings this way - going around until everyone has spoken, and doing a second round for good measure. One person speaks at a time while everyone else deeply listens. This, she asserts, can transform how our organizations and institutions operate.
This is not a new idea. Forms of “compassionate listening” have been practiced by Buddhists, Quakers, and Indigenous communities, among others, for centuries and by psychotherapists for decades. “Deep listening” is a way of hearing in which we are fully present with what is happening in the moment without trying to control or judge it. This is a powerful practice that can be engaged in one-on-one with students and instructors; it should also be modeled and facilitated between students in the classroom. Facilitating community and interdependence through dialogue can be done in a number of ways; though think-pair-share activities, small learning communities or activities like jigsaw.
I think it is so important to lay groundwork early and make space in our lessons for students to practice open communication, storytelling and, above this, listening. The first week of the semester is an especially opportune time when there is spaciousness to build community.
With this in mind, I’ve compiled my favorite questions (99 in total) to get people talking and listening to one another. These can be used as icebreakers, connectors, or writing prompts, and for groups that are meeting for the first time, or those who have known each other for decades.
I’m linking them here - for free - as an offering to you all as you begin the academic year anew:
I believe if we want to empower and energize people - students, colleagues, friends or strangers - the best gift we can give them is our attention. In doing so, we create an environment where people can truly think, connect, and flourish.